At first this may seem like a counterproductive, or even archaic method. however it may not be exactly what you think. Some people aren't motivated by the positive outcomes of success and may even fear them, but they may be motivated by the negative outcomes of not succeeding. I'm sure we've all heard the term reverse psychology.
Obsessive–compulsive disorder (OCD) is an anxiety disorder characterized by intrusive thoughts (negative thinking) that produce uneasiness, apprehension, fear or worry (obsessions), repetitive behaviors aimed at reducing the associated anxiety (compulsions), or a combination of such obsessions and compulsions. This is typically treated with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
Two of the prominent causes of failure are fear and negative thinking. similar to that of OCD. Understanding how to use that to motivate someone who isn't responding to the positive aspects of success or motivation is extremely beneficial. Obsessed with the fear of change and or success, and compulsive failure related behavior.
Breaking down the definition of OCD and applying it to motivational success can be done with ease. The first part of the characteristics of OCD or Obsessive–compulsive disorder (OCD) is an anxiety disorder characterized by intrusive thoughts (negative thinking) that produce uneasiness, apprehension, fear or worry (obsessions).
This is typical with many of the people I work with. The what ifs, and I can't, and I don't know how lines of negative thinking and living combined or create a lack of self confidence. These all fall into this category.
The second characteristic, Repetitive behaviors are aimed at reducing the associated anxiety (compulsions), or a combination of such obsessions and compulsions. These actions may also be a lack of action. When applied in general terms these actions may include drinking, drug use, failure to wake up on time, what may perceived as laziness, or a general lack of interest. The problem with these signs are that they are commonly misinterpreted as negative behavior and not properly addressed as fear induced behavior. Social constructs and norms are presented to us on a regular basis which perpetuate destructive and negative actions such as alcohol abuse, everybody gets drunk, you need to let loose, relax etc. However, that is not the case with everyone and can be extremely detrimental to someone who is already displeased with their life and doesn't understand why. The other thing is the need for "stuff" in an attempt to subconsciously replace the things that actually bring happiness. I have heard too many times how unhappy someone is with life and they can't understand why. They have a house, pool, 1 new SUV, 1 new car, 3 kids, go out to dinner all the time, have cable, 4 cellphones, 4 computers 2 tablets, and so on. At the same time, they are complaining they can't save money and fear losing it all. When what they actually need is to relinquish most of it and start living a life that wasn't presented to them as the perfect life and actually go live out in the world with their family. It's not an easy concept by any means to basically tell someone what they know to be true isn't and that's why they're not happy.
Subtle negative reinforcement may be the key. If a person fears change, the work it takes to make the change, what success may bring, and lack confidence, it can be a major challenge for people like me to convince them that it is good. OCD, diagnosed or undiagnosed, or a general anxiety can sometimes takes years of treatment to overcome, which sometimes never happens. This is a difficult thing for therapists, life coaches, consultants and motivational specialists, such as myself to overcome. I am offering a different approach in attempt to facilitate an "when all else fails" approach.
I have used this approach on several people with success. The principals are basic as you will see.
If the person is afraid of change, Present that the world changes and will change them if they don't do it themselves. This reinforces the fear of forced change and a lack of control. The environment of mediocrity and status quo is one that can be easily controlled by lack of action. Typically the fear is based on someones ability to control change. When faced with the concept of losing that control it can change their behavior in order for them to maintain control of their life with a positive outcome. Behavior to regain control may even cause the person to over perform out of the fear of loss and realize a success beyond the intended goal.
If the person fears success, as it being an unknown it must be repeatedly instilled that if they don't succeed the only other option is failure. Nothing stays the same and everything that they are happy with now, will be gone if they don't change themselves. As I stated previously the person who fears they will lose it all, fears the loss of comfort and control they have and have gotten used to. If you have the control to relinquish some things then you now have much less to lose. It will also cause the person to realize they didn't need or actually want those things in the first place and were merely distractions and obstacles keeping them from their happiness and or success.
OCD makes a person believe that if they do not perform a certain action that something negative will happen. A portion of cognitive behavioral therapy presents the patient with the concept that their thinking is actually opposite of reality. As an example if they don't knock on a door 4 times something bad may or will happen. Turning that compulsion in reverse to say if you knock three times on every table something bad will happen and you continue to reinforce that thought, the compulsion will eventually change and the person may not even be able to knock on a table three times when asked for fear of a negative consequence.
If applying these methods in the workplace, they should presented as the employees own actions or lack of will make them unfulfilled and unhappy. Nobody responds positively to negative reinforcement from consequences brought on by someone else. Stating the obvious that not performing properly will result in more work, stress and frustration for themselves, and omitting that it creates more work for yourself or others is key. Keep the focus on them and what matters to them. This must also be followed up with coaching and a promise to work with them, as well as your commitment to and belief in them and their abilities.
These methods are not a guaranteed fix all nor are they guaranteed to work at all.
The realization is that some people are not reachable and either just don't care or may not know what their goals are. I was one of those people. It took time to realize that my focus was on one thing when it should have been on several in order to achieve the one. It wasn't and still isn't all about what I want to do in my life, but where I want to be doing it. The reason there are many people who do what I do is that sometimes it takes 10 people to finally create focus and get through the benefits of a happy successful, fulfilling life.
Obsessive–compulsive disorder (OCD) is an anxiety disorder characterized by intrusive thoughts (negative thinking) that produce uneasiness, apprehension, fear or worry (obsessions), repetitive behaviors aimed at reducing the associated anxiety (compulsions), or a combination of such obsessions and compulsions. This is typically treated with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
Breaking down the definition of OCD and applying it to motivational success can be done with ease. The first part of the characteristics of OCD or Obsessive–compulsive disorder (OCD) is an anxiety disorder characterized by intrusive thoughts (negative thinking) that produce uneasiness, apprehension, fear or worry (obsessions).
This is typical with many of the people I work with. The what ifs, and I can't, and I don't know how lines of negative thinking and living combined or create a lack of self confidence. These all fall into this category.
The second characteristic, Repetitive behaviors are aimed at reducing the associated anxiety (compulsions), or a combination of such obsessions and compulsions. These actions may also be a lack of action. When applied in general terms these actions may include drinking, drug use, failure to wake up on time, what may perceived as laziness, or a general lack of interest. The problem with these signs are that they are commonly misinterpreted as negative behavior and not properly addressed as fear induced behavior. Social constructs and norms are presented to us on a regular basis which perpetuate destructive and negative actions such as alcohol abuse, everybody gets drunk, you need to let loose, relax etc. However, that is not the case with everyone and can be extremely detrimental to someone who is already displeased with their life and doesn't understand why. The other thing is the need for "stuff" in an attempt to subconsciously replace the things that actually bring happiness. I have heard too many times how unhappy someone is with life and they can't understand why. They have a house, pool, 1 new SUV, 1 new car, 3 kids, go out to dinner all the time, have cable, 4 cellphones, 4 computers 2 tablets, and so on. At the same time, they are complaining they can't save money and fear losing it all. When what they actually need is to relinquish most of it and start living a life that wasn't presented to them as the perfect life and actually go live out in the world with their family. It's not an easy concept by any means to basically tell someone what they know to be true isn't and that's why they're not happy.
Subtle negative reinforcement may be the key. If a person fears change, the work it takes to make the change, what success may bring, and lack confidence, it can be a major challenge for people like me to convince them that it is good. OCD, diagnosed or undiagnosed, or a general anxiety can sometimes takes years of treatment to overcome, which sometimes never happens. This is a difficult thing for therapists, life coaches, consultants and motivational specialists, such as myself to overcome. I am offering a different approach in attempt to facilitate an "when all else fails" approach.
I have used this approach on several people with success. The principals are basic as you will see.
If the person is afraid of change, Present that the world changes and will change them if they don't do it themselves. This reinforces the fear of forced change and a lack of control. The environment of mediocrity and status quo is one that can be easily controlled by lack of action. Typically the fear is based on someones ability to control change. When faced with the concept of losing that control it can change their behavior in order for them to maintain control of their life with a positive outcome. Behavior to regain control may even cause the person to over perform out of the fear of loss and realize a success beyond the intended goal.
If the person fears success, as it being an unknown it must be repeatedly instilled that if they don't succeed the only other option is failure. Nothing stays the same and everything that they are happy with now, will be gone if they don't change themselves. As I stated previously the person who fears they will lose it all, fears the loss of comfort and control they have and have gotten used to. If you have the control to relinquish some things then you now have much less to lose. It will also cause the person to realize they didn't need or actually want those things in the first place and were merely distractions and obstacles keeping them from their happiness and or success.
OCD makes a person believe that if they do not perform a certain action that something negative will happen. A portion of cognitive behavioral therapy presents the patient with the concept that their thinking is actually opposite of reality. As an example if they don't knock on a door 4 times something bad may or will happen. Turning that compulsion in reverse to say if you knock three times on every table something bad will happen and you continue to reinforce that thought, the compulsion will eventually change and the person may not even be able to knock on a table three times when asked for fear of a negative consequence.
If applying these methods in the workplace, they should presented as the employees own actions or lack of will make them unfulfilled and unhappy. Nobody responds positively to negative reinforcement from consequences brought on by someone else. Stating the obvious that not performing properly will result in more work, stress and frustration for themselves, and omitting that it creates more work for yourself or others is key. Keep the focus on them and what matters to them. This must also be followed up with coaching and a promise to work with them, as well as your commitment to and belief in them and their abilities.
These methods are not a guaranteed fix all nor are they guaranteed to work at all.
The realization is that some people are not reachable and either just don't care or may not know what their goals are. I was one of those people. It took time to realize that my focus was on one thing when it should have been on several in order to achieve the one. It wasn't and still isn't all about what I want to do in my life, but where I want to be doing it. The reason there are many people who do what I do is that sometimes it takes 10 people to finally create focus and get through the benefits of a happy successful, fulfilling life.
Comments
Post a Comment